Every so often, I become intrigued (and slightly obsessed) with an upcoming film release.  It only happens occasionally; I become fanatical about reading absolutely everything I can find on this film, I watch every clip and trailer I can manage to conjure up on the Holy Grail that is the Internet, and I pore over a plethora of film stills.  My latest obsession?  ‘Excision’.

Based on an eighteen-minute short film, this is director Richard Bates Jr.’s first foray into the world of feature films.  ‘Excision’ provoked plenty of discussion on the indie circuit during 2012 as well as sparking a whole lot of interest on dedicated horror websites.  And, like many of my fellow critics, I feel that this isn’t exactly a typical horror film.  It is almost in a whole genre of its’ own. 

AnnaLynne McCord, who you may know as snarky Naomi from ‘90210’ plays tormented teenager Pauline, obsessed with becoming a surgeon while leading a life of solitude as an outcast.  She maintains a toxic relationship with her mother (played by ex-porn queen Traci Lords) and hardly even notices her quietly-suffering father (Roger Bart).  The only person she truly holds any feelings of love for is her younger sister Grace, played by Ariel Winter of ‘Modern Family’ fame.  Grace is plagued with cystic fibrosis and the whole family is focused on her wellbeing without noticing Pauline’s descent into deep psychosis.  When Grace’s health takes a turn for the worst, Pauline can only take matters into her own hands – whether it makes sense or not.

The film is insane yet sane, intense yet melancholy, disgusting yet beautiful.  Pauline’s bizarre exterior actually makes a lot of sense and her dark fantasies, while extremely disturbing, help us to understand her strange, lonesome existence.  Yes, there are definitive horror elements to ‘Excision’ (particularly, some rather bloody fantasy scenes that combine body parts, sex and abortions).  But the film’s underlying themes of family and the hardships of teenage life are what set it apart from the likes of the sex-obsessed gore-porn movies of this generation.  Pauline is twisted but it seems like she does truly want acceptance.  McCord is brilliant in this and whatever preconceived notions you have of her (thanks to ‘90210’), don’t let them stop you from viewing ‘Excision’.  Some nifty cameos from Malcolm McDowell and John Waters make this film the complete package. 

‘Excision’ is a rare moment of excellence in modern horror film.  Definitely worth a watch, possibly worth a buy (I did).  Go in without any expectations of what you will see and you will not be disappointed.

Oh yes, we all love a good cabin movie.  Teenage stereotypes, alcohol, drugs, orgies… and a lovely array of supernatural goodies.  Think zombies, flesh-eating viruses, rapist trees.  You know, the usual run-of-the-mill kind of things.  My love of cabin-themed movies, plus an irrational obsession with ‘Buffy the Vampire Slayer’, has led me to a very simple conclusion: I had to watch ‘The Cabin in the Woods’. 

The incredible Joss Whedon and occasional Buffy contributor Drew Goddard conjured up this amazing idea, which, on paper, sounds like a trip to Disneyland (well, for me, anyway).  Goddard took the reins and directed, but you can practically see Whedon breathing down his neck for the entire duration of the film.  I don’t know how much detail of the storyline that I really need to go into, but for those who have been living under a rock, five friends take a holiday to a remote cabin (in the woods – fancy that!) where fun and games ensue.  Of course, in true Whedon fashion, nothing is ever as it seems.

The film is… good.  Well, I didn’t hate it – let’s put it that way.  The acting is quirky and exaggerated (on purpose) and the movie itself is paced well to prevent those horrible, sluggish ‘character development’ minutes common in these types of flicks.  Everything about it is right, yet for some reason I feel like they kind of got it wrong.  Even the blood and guts weren’t enough to entice me here.

When the film was cancelled from a theatre release in Australia, I, along with zillions of other Buffy nerds, cried hysteria and felt completely and utterly ripped off.  Now, after seeing it… I don’t know, perhaps they didn’t consider it ‘hardcore’ enough for the Paranormal Activity fans out there?  (Yes, my tongue is very firmly planted in my cheek).  Even Thor himself and a killer cameo at the end cannot seem to save this one.

I probably wouldn’t consider this a die-hard horror film and once you’ve viewed it, I’m sure you’ll agree.  Go in with an open mind and a smirk on your lips and you should enjoy it.  But don’t go in expecting a cabin-themed masterpiece (a la Evil Dead or Cabin Fever).

Each and every time I read articles about horror movies, which are the most horrific, the ones that will shock the pants off you, ‘Martyrs’ is always close to the top of the list.  Naturally, after reading profusely about this film, intrigued at its’ ability to shock even the most jaded of horror fans, I had to give it a look.  Of course, things aren’t always as they seem in the world of film critics…

The film itself is French, filmed in Quebec, Canada.  Don’t be disheartened by subtitles; I find them an excellent way to help fully absorb yourself in a movie.  Anyway, not the point.  It follows two girls, Lucie and Anna, both subjected to horrible abuse as children (however, in separate circumstances).  Adult Lucie is determined to get revenge on those who put her through such terrible anguish, with Anna (generally) supporting her.  Lucie, suffering from trauma as well as delusions, soon allows herself to be consumed by her mental instability, leaving Anna alone in the house of Lucie’s abusers.  I know this seems like a long-winded introduction but I don’t want to give any of the events away.

Shortly into her time in the apparently empty house, Anna makes a discovery: a sterile, hospital-like basement hidden away from the world.  In this basement Anna finds yet another like Lucie who has been tortured in the same manner, minus the escape.  Needless to say, Anna’s attempts to help the other are short-lived.  Once again alone in the house, Anna is confused and becoming unravelled.  That is, until she is found.

From here on the film takes an interesting turn, exposing us to a world filled with depravity and torment, all the while lacking humanity and reason.  As Anna’s life begins a rapid downward spiral, it becomes quite difficult to understand why this film was made.  The concept of a martyr is not entirely convincing and while many reviews rave about how different ‘Martyrs’ is from the shock-horror gore-porn we have all come to know – I don’t know, I can’t say I necessarily agree.  The film is bizarre, twisted, degrading, horrific, unreasonable and, to be frank, f***ed up.  Don’t get me wrong, I understood it, but was there a need for it?  Perhaps not.

Look, give it one viewing – if you get squeamish at mutated humans like me, then you’ll get a slight kick out of it.  But ensure you are prepared for a whole lot of strange.  ‘Martyrs’ will definitely not be anything like you are expecting.

Once upon a time, in a far away land (well, far enough from Australia, that is), lived a beautiful princess named Reese Witherspoon.  She decided, with so little experience with acting, that she would dabble in the horror/thriller genre with a certain white rapper who manned the Funky Bunch at the time.  And so, together, with the help of Alyssa Milano, they made a wonderfully-trashy, junk-food-esque teen movie known as ‘Fear’.

Well, ok, sure, that is probably not exactly how the movie was created.  But how often can you go back in time and watch two Hollywood heavyweights (both with Oscars, or at least nominations, under their belts) in a classic teen thriller movie set in the bleak, alternative-grunge 1990s?  ‘Fear’ is an interesting, insightful movie that explores young love and the dangers that can be associated with this; inclusive of psychotic boyfriends and a possessive father with his heart in the right place.

Witherspoon plays Nicole, a naïve, do-gooder teen who is entranced by the brooding, muscular David (Mark Wahlberg).  An older guy and obviously not what every father dreams of for his baby daughter, David is hiding some dark demons never even imagined by Nicole.  She continues to date David until he Hulks up and, green with jealous rage, lashes out on Nicole’s best friend (a male, of course).  Nicole decides not to see David but is soon sucked back in by his devilishly handsome looks.  Of course, further incidents occur and soon Nicole is watching her back, with David following her every move. 

The film honours the typical teen movie behaviours: high schoolers, love, sex, drugs, violence, alternative music.  Not to mention a new take on riding rollercoasters.  However, ‘Fear’ focuses a lot of its’ attention on Nicole’s father Steve, played by CSI’s William Petersen (Grissom).  You learn to understand his pain and anguish, then feel his blood boiling as the film reaches its’ climax.  Cue the Last House on the Left invasion, complete with psycho drug addicts, no phones and an unfortunate incident involving a dog shishkabob.  Need I say more?

‘Fear’ is a great Friday night flick to go with your takeaway and post-work brain drain.  Enjoy a hearty trash movie with a couple of giggles and a few stereotypical jump-scares.  Definitely worth the watch – this is a long-time favourite of mine.

Horror can be defined in many ways.  It can be terrifying, where you’ll have nightmares for weeks.  It can be horrifying, where it is just plain horrific and you squirm in disgust.  It can be scary in a totally different way (Katherine Heigl anyone??).  But sometimes all you want is a good old fashioned scare.

‘The Woman in Black’ will give you exactly that.  Set sometime in the early to mid-1900s, the movie follows Daniel Radcliffe’s Arthur Kipps, a widowed lawyer sent to follow up a deceased estate known as Eel Marsh House.  Upon his arrival, the townsfolk are determined to make him leave – with Kipps even more determined to stay and finish his business.  What he is unaware of is the curse that haunts the town, a ghostly woman in black hell bent on wreaking vengeance on anyone who lays their eyes on her.

It’s tricky not to give too much of the plot away, so I won’t go into too much of a synopsis of the film.  Radcliffe is a great actor, which makes me more sorry that all I could hear in the back of my head was “You’re a wizard, Harry!”  He seemed rather young to have such a young son, but that was a reflection of the times, I suppose.  The movie had all of the typical clichés of a horror movie: dark hallways, locked doors, misty marshlands.  There wasn’t a great deal of score, something I feel contributed to the overall feel of the film.  It did take a good half hour before anything major happened, however the last thirty to forty minutes of the film were truly engaging.  There was a few jump scares, but honestly it was the creepy doll factor that scared the bejesus out of me.  I don’t scare easily but they gave me some serious wiggins. 

I would definitely recommend ‘The Woman in Black’ to any horror fan.  I love a good scare and I feel like I definitely got my money’s worth.  I am predicting that the movie wouldn’t have as much of an effect had I have been at home (unless I was alone and it was dark), so on that note please spend some cashola and check it out at the cinemas.  You’ll hate yourself for the parts you jump at, and I can say that from experience.  But you’ll definitely come out of the cinema feeling satisfied. 

Just a shame we got it so long after America.  Ahh, gotta love the way Australian cinema appreciates horror.