If you know me well, you are probably incredibly aware of my absolute love for all things Evil Dead.  As if the original wasn’t awesome enough, they had to go and make ‘Evil Dead 2’ (amazing in every way possible) and then go medieval on everyone’s asses in ‘Army of Darkness’.  And although some of you may contest this, I strongly believe Bruce Campbell was so deserving of Oscars for his portrayal of Ash in all three movies.

But, true to my nature, I am getting off track.  Just a wee bit.

So as we all know, there was a lot of controversy surrounding the remake of ‘The Evil Dead’, which came out earlier this year.  Most of this controversy was created by my fellow Evil Deadites (see what I did there?) from around the world.  I will admit it, I was absolutely appalled when I heard they were remaking it; to me, it is cinema gold.  It would be like remaking ‘The Terminator’.  Or ‘Batman’.  Oh wait… But as trailers, screen shots and behind the scenes notes came pouring in, along with rave reviews from my trusted Bloody Disgusting, I began to get on the ‘Evil Dead 2013’ band wagon.  I found myself following it all over the internet until its release.  And, naturally, I was horrified that Australian cinemas pulled its’ national release.  Luckily for my trusty Cinema Nova, I was able to see it on the big screen.

Now, I know there are still haters out there – I can practically smell you!  However, here’s my advice: Don’t think of it as a remake.  Think of it as an original movie.  If you can do that, you’ll share the love that I have for the film.

‘Evil Dead’ (2013) follows Mia (Jane Levy), a junkie who is determined to make one last ditch attempt at getting clean.  Her friends, along with her brother David (Shiloh Fernandez) drag her along to the old family cabin, which has become eerily decrepit over the years.  Little do they know, there were some interesting shenanigans going on in the basement not too long ago…

Upon arrival at the cabin, the group begins to get the cabin back into some sort of working order.  A nasty smell plagues the air; we soon follow the gang into the basement where, along with dead cats causing the disgusting odour, they find an old book bound in human flesh, wrapped in garbage bags and barbed wire.  Yes, my friends, it is the beloved Necronomicon.  Of course, one curious little critter that goes by the name of Eric (Lou Taylor Pucci) cannot resist taking a peek at this monstrous piece of occult literature.  And, naturally, when red writing throughout the book (blood?) warns him not to read from it, he does!  I mean, why wouldn’t you?  Cue the crazy soaring camera through the woods, eventually crashing into Mia and causing her to vomit.  Uh oh…

As Mia goes cold turkey from the drugs, she begins to also show some strange signs that her friends think are just signs of withdrawal; little do they know, this is Mia becoming demonically possessed.  She bites people, curses at them and vomits black liquid before being chained in the basement.  That’s the end of their problems, right?

Wrong.  So unbelievably wrong.  The gang soon become vulnerable to Mia’s possession and any form of contact with her soon ensures their own possession.  I’m not going to give anything away, but there are some incredibly awesome moments here.  However, it isn’t anything that duct tape cannot fix!  The remainder of the film follows the group’s battle with the demonic forces enslaving them, eventually leading to the ultimate showdown between good and evil.  And, of course, the bloodiest finale of a film I have ever seen.

The film, when regarded on its’ own, is one of horror cinema’s finest moments over the past ten years.  I loved the way that Mia’s withdrawal symptoms are misinterpreted and for once I didn’t hate the main characters.  I strongly recommend seeing the original first though; without this viewing, many of the amazing references to the original will go straight over your head. 

Would I recommend this film?  Absolutely.  If you consider yourself any kind of horror fantatic, you must watch this film.  It is such a pleasing, welcome contribution to any horror buff’s collection and I will fight you to the death if you completely disagree with me.  Enjoy!

Amongst the slightly insane plethora of dud horror movies, there are some real gems.  Some of those I have already commented on; think ‘Trick ‘r Treat’, ‘Event Horizon’ and the original ‘Evil Dead’.  I do love an unsuspecting decent horror flick; with so many terrible ones out there these days, they are a rare find.  Even more so than a really good horror flick do I love a funny one.  That immaculate merging of my two greatest loves – horror and hilarity – is what I love most about many of the flicks I worship.  And one of those movies, much to the dismay of many, is Eli Roth’s ‘Cabin Fever’.

Once again, another movie treads that oh-so-familiar territory of hormone-driven teenagers heading out to that notorious isolated cabin for sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll.  Ok, maybe the rock ‘n’ roll is a little ‘80s, but you know what I mean.  ‘Cabin Fever’ follows the specific stereotypes of these teenagers: we have the sex-crazed couple Jeff and Marcy (who are, of course, gorgeous by appearance and slighty assy in personality); there’s the wholesome guy Paul who is in love with his beautiful friend Karen, and the token stoner guy Bert who says f**k a lot. They travel to the cabin on their college break, ready to party and what not.  On their travels they meet some interesting hillbillies including a lovely little blonde, Children of the Corn-type kid named Dennis who has an curious affinity for pancakes.  I won’t say any more.

When they reach the cabin, which is in surprisingly good nick, they relax and unwind with a cheeky dip in the lake (Paul and Karen), a round in the bedroom (Jeff and Marcy) and squirrel shooting (Bert).  Unfortunately, things take a turn for the worst when Bert accidentally shoots a man who seems to be rotting.  After the man attempts to approach him, Bert shoots him again and runs back to the cabin.  The events of the day are followed by a night of drinking around the bonfire.  This is where the film takes a different turn – ordinarily, we are succumbed to watching supernatural forces take over the characters one by one.  Not ‘Cabin Fever’.  Unbeknownst to the group, the man Bert shot is ridden with a crazy flesh-eating virus that has affected the entire lake.  The group panics when the man asks for help and he decides to take their car.  However, bloody vomiting ensues and the car is covered in the disgusting mess.  When the man exits the car, the group set him on fire.  As you do.

I am not going to continue with too much more plot synopsis; obviously, with the virus infecting the car, the group are going to be affected by it.  The setting may seem formulaic but the incidents that occur throughout the film are pure gold.  You would never imagine a film about a gory flesh-eating disease would be funny, but by golly is it ever.  There are some amazing characters in this film too; Deputy Winston is classic and director Eli Roth makes an appearance as local college student Grim during the bonfire scene.  The music sets the tone and very quickly the film escalates to the unexpected.  You think that you know how it will all pan out; I guarantee that you are wrong.  If you are a fan of the amazing ‘Detroit Rock City’ then take note: you will spot some familiar faces in Bert (played by James DeBello) and Deputy Winston (Giuseppe Andrews).

‘Cabin Fever’ is one of my absolute favourites for a number of reasons: the intense gore, the original story, the classic characters and the ridiculous humour. This is a perfect movie for those not particularly into ‘scary’ films; you’ll laugh, you’ll be completely grossed out and you’ll relish the ending.  See it, enjoy it and let me know what you think.  

            For every hero, there is a villain.  For every damsel in distress, there is a knight in shining armour.  For every chainsaw-wielding maniac, there is a hysterically screaming tramp.  And for every Freddy Krueger, there is Jason Voorhees.

         

Those of you who have grown to know (and love) me are very aware of my extreme fondness for Jason Voorhees.  And yes, this may or may not include permanent ink on my body.  But another story for another day.  Today, I realise, the time has come to channel this love into something I can share with the world.  And this, my friends, comes in the form of a very belated review of ‘Friday the 13^th’.

Of course, in this circumstance I am speaking of the classic 1980 film starring Betsy Palmer, a bunch of unknowns and a very young, very handsome Kevin Bacon.  And I promise that my love of Bacon won’t turn this review into something similar to my Kurt Russell jeans-obsessed rant that is formerly known as a review for ‘The Thing’.  Pinky swear.

For those of you who know the hockey mask and the title but not much else, ‘Friday the 13^th’ set the tone for many amazing, as well as many terrible, horror films of the 1980s and beyond.  It is one of the first films to use the cabin-in-the-woods formula; however, instead of a bunch of teens travelling to a remote cabin, here they are summer camp counsellors working to reopen Camp Crystal Lake.  Why does it need reopening, you ask?  Well, you see, some twenty-odd years ago, a young boy named Jason Voorhees drowned in the lake while his counsellors were not supervising him.  Hmm… hormone-driven youths, wonder why they weren’t paying attention?  You do the maths.  A year later after Jason’s death, two camp counsellors are murdered at Camp Crystal Lake by an unknown assailant.  Following this, the camp is closed for many years until a new owner decides to reopen it, despite its’ grisly history.  As they work towards refurbishing and reopening the camp, a group of new counsellors find themselves stalked and ultimately murdered by a mysterious stalker hell bent on revenge.

In terms of acting, sure, there are no Oscar worthy performances.  But the murders?  They are quite amazing, especially for their time.  The characters I personally find quite annoying; I don’t particularly like any of them, which, of course, makes the viewing a whole lot more pleasurable.  Kevin Bacon is working towards his ‘Footloose’ cool and I find a certain point of the film for his character quite… well, frankly, quite awesome.  Betsy Palmer works her role well, although I don’t want to go into too much detail for those of you who haven’t ever seen the film.  And the ending – oh boy, horror gold. 

There is a whole bunch of associated trivia I’d love to get into with you, but again, no need to spoil a great film for new viewers.  Overall, I’m assuming I don’t need to tell you how highly I think of this classic film; it is a poignant piece in the horror genre and will live a long life in the collection of any horror enthusiast.  If you haven’t seen it, make it your next horror classic to view.

Every so often, I become intrigued (and slightly obsessed) with an upcoming film release.  It only happens occasionally; I become fanatical about reading absolutely everything I can find on this film, I watch every clip and trailer I can manage to conjure up on the Holy Grail that is the Internet, and I pore over a plethora of film stills.  My latest obsession?  ‘Excision’.

Based on an eighteen-minute short film, this is director Richard Bates Jr.’s first foray into the world of feature films.  ‘Excision’ provoked plenty of discussion on the indie circuit during 2012 as well as sparking a whole lot of interest on dedicated horror websites.  And, like many of my fellow critics, I feel that this isn’t exactly a typical horror film.  It is almost in a whole genre of its’ own. 

AnnaLynne McCord, who you may know as snarky Naomi from ‘90210’ plays tormented teenager Pauline, obsessed with becoming a surgeon while leading a life of solitude as an outcast.  She maintains a toxic relationship with her mother (played by ex-porn queen Traci Lords) and hardly even notices her quietly-suffering father (Roger Bart).  The only person she truly holds any feelings of love for is her younger sister Grace, played by Ariel Winter of ‘Modern Family’ fame.  Grace is plagued with cystic fibrosis and the whole family is focused on her wellbeing without noticing Pauline’s descent into deep psychosis.  When Grace’s health takes a turn for the worst, Pauline can only take matters into her own hands – whether it makes sense or not.

The film is insane yet sane, intense yet melancholy, disgusting yet beautiful.  Pauline’s bizarre exterior actually makes a lot of sense and her dark fantasies, while extremely disturbing, help us to understand her strange, lonesome existence.  Yes, there are definitive horror elements to ‘Excision’ (particularly, some rather bloody fantasy scenes that combine body parts, sex and abortions).  But the film’s underlying themes of family and the hardships of teenage life are what set it apart from the likes of the sex-obsessed gore-porn movies of this generation.  Pauline is twisted but it seems like she does truly want acceptance.  McCord is brilliant in this and whatever preconceived notions you have of her (thanks to ‘90210’), don’t let them stop you from viewing ‘Excision’.  Some nifty cameos from Malcolm McDowell and John Waters make this film the complete package. 

‘Excision’ is a rare moment of excellence in modern horror film.  Definitely worth a watch, possibly worth a buy (I did).  Go in without any expectations of what you will see and you will not be disappointed.